Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
