Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My ATM looks so different sober.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
