He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
