I just made out with a guy for $7.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
