So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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