I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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