then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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