I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
