You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
