Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
