In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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