he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We need to get me chipped asap
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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