Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
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