She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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