In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
