"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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