whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
