Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
