is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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