He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
