listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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