If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
