my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
