i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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