the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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