Don't you send me to vm
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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