I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he fucked my hip out of place.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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