when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
