We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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