they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
