so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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