Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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