We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize