if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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