You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
