I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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