if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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