Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
