i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
