so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
