school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
