I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
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