I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have fence marks all over my body
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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