Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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