If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
