do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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