i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
