you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
