dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
