I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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