shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
