He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
