Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
