I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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