i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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