You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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