were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
