she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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