You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
