She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
