Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
