i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
