Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
