even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
