But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
